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As you read this I am spending some quality time with the hubby, for the first time in about 8 months. I am writing this prior to his homecoming ceremony because between his return and Thanksgiving, I may not be able to blog for a few days. But while I’m sure there are a lot of emotions going through my head right now as I hug and kiss him for the first time in what feels like forever, the days leading up to it were loong. So looooong.
Oprah recently announced her favorite things of 2012 and they included 30 military spouses who were finalists in this year’s Military Spouse Magazine‘s Military Spouse of the Year award program.
Not coincidentally I’m sure, a new show premiered on OWN last night about the lives of Army families stationed at Fort Richardson, Alaska. When I found out about this show I was with a friend. We both were amazed. While I blog about my life I can’t imagine being on a TV show chronicling that, just because of what I know about how reality show producers edit shows and portray people. I was also surprised that the Army approved the show; I have learned that they approve each episode. But it’s also amazing to me that these families agreed to be a part of a reality TV show. Don’t get me wrong, I love reality TV but I also know that after filming for hours upon hours, it gets edited into 20-45 minutes of show. So you are only getting a snapshot at the whole story. Continue reading “Review: Married to the Army: Alaska”
Warning: This post is a bit snarky, I won’t lie to you. So now that you are prepared, proceed…
Since my husband and I got engaged I’ve been asked a whole lot of questions about my military life but there are a few that irk me. And it’s safe to say that some of them I have had to restrain myself to not just glare at the other person. And I’m not alone, my fellow military spouse friends and I talk about weird things we hear from people. (All time favorite: “Can you visit him (in Afghanistan)?”)
I know that not everyone understands the military life, which is what prompted this blog, so I try to be kind and give people the benefit of the doubt. But if you’re talking to a spouse, think twice or try to find a more considerate way to say on of these phrases.
I’ve heard some of these first hand, but others come from an informal poll on my Facebook page and here are the top 5:
Continue reading “5 Things Military Spouses Don’t Like to Hear”
When I found out when my husband was due home I was ecstatic, but the stress and anxiety that has gone along with him being gone, hasn’t gone away. And I don’t think it will until he’s home.
At a recent event for spouses in our brigade prepping for redeployment (homecoming) we talked about the reintegration after they come home, what to expect and look for, but the chaplain asked one question that has stuck with me, “When will you stop holding your breath?” we all answered: “When we’re holding each other here in our arms.”
If only I knew what I wanted to do when I grew up. I know that sounds silly but I thought that I had life figured out to some extent two years ago. I graduated from college, got a job in magazines, had a great relationship, etc. But looking back on it now I’m not sure that even then I knew what I wanted to do. Even then I knew that I was soon to be an Army wife. I turned down interviews for other positions because I was moving in about a year. I regret still not knowing what my niche is. And here I am in graduate school, in a program that is exactly what I want to learn about to succeed, but I feel like the fact that I will move again stops me from getting a real job.
Honestly. It scares me that someone won’t hire me because I’m not in this area forever. After a personal reflection of my resume: lots of experience, lots of internships. When do I get out of the internship lull? When do I trust myself to just apply for jobs that I know I am qualified to do? What do those people need to see in my resume to say “yeah, we should interview this one.”
I have a few volunteer positions, a job, grad school, friends, and family. Needless to say juggling it all has been pretty exhausting. It’s hard for me to say no. I like to help, but I’m learning that I have to say no, in order to sleep and feel like a human being.
Let me start with a few facts:
When we moved we set up a mail forward to my parent’s house in Phoenix because we didn’t have a Washington address yet. Once we moved in we changed the mail forward from their house to where we are now. Well, ballots aren’t mail forwarded. Mainly in case you move within the state and you should re-register and vote for your new districts. Well, since my parent’s address is my home of record, I want to maintain my residency there, at least for now.
I got a letter this summer informing me of this issue. If I failed to comply I would be deactivated as a voter. After consulting my mom, who works in elections/politics, I called my local county recorder’s office and explained my situation. They understood and told me to write a letter asking for my ballots to be sent to my temporary WA address and it’d get fixed.
On August 2nd I mailed my letter in. About a week later I got a call from someone in the Recorder’s office asking to clarify that I wanted both my primary and general election ballot sent to WA. I said yes. A few weeks later I voted in the primary election. No problem.
Then October rolls around. I knew when ballots were mailed out and waited about a week: nothing. I called on Wednesday, Oct. 24 and the woman told me I had been deactivated. But could be reactivated in the morning when her supervisor was in, and a ballot could be sent to my Phoenix address. Great. Friday, Oct. 25 shows up and my mom checks my status–ballot still not mailed. It was the last day to request an early ballot. I call immediately. Speak to a guy that reactivates me, confirms my WA address, and reminds me to vote as soon as I get my ballot and mail back so they receive it by 7 pm election day.
My mom checked again that Wednesday when it had yet to show up, and indeed my ballot was mailed according to their records on Friday, Oct. 25. But why is it taking so long? A card mailed from Phoenix on Monday, arrived in my mailbox on Thursday. My ballot finally arrived on Saturday afternoon, and I was gone all day, you know I have a life while all this is happening, so I voted Saturday night. At this rate I know that mailing it Monday morning from Washington, it will not get to Phoenix by 7 p.m. on Tuesday. So I went to FedEx Sunday afternoon but the envelope obviously couldn’t go out until Monday morning. I paid $34.77 to ensure that my ballot got to AZ by Tuesday morning. And to be even more sure that it gets turned in, I sent it to my mom’s office, and she will then drop it off to the polling station or elections department directly for me.
As someone that immensely cares about this election, this is completely disheartening. And if I didn’t care as much, or my mom didn’t have access to that information, or was able/willing to help me turn my ballot in, I would have never even gotten a ballot or had my vote count. Will I be changing my voter registration after this election to WA? Probably. I’m completely disappointed in my home county. There are so many important races, from President, Senate, Congress and Sheriff, that I want to voice my opinion for. All I want to do is vote, it shouldn’t be this hard. For anyone.
Today I was filling up my car with gas and I heard a guy ask his friend, “Are you voting this year?”
I was so appalled that I almost interrupted their conversation, or inserted myself into it, to tell them that they have no excuse not to vote! For one, the state of Washington mails ballots to every registered voter, so “can’t make it to the polls” is not a valid excuse. My husband voted from a war zone, so you can vote from your house.
Secondly, I’m a firm believer that if you don’t like the way the country or state or city government is working, you have to vote. I don’t care your party affiliation, you can’t complain if you didn’t input your opinion in the basic right we have as citizens. If it doesn’t go your way, it sucks, but at least you let your opinion be known.
I think I have voted in every election since I turned 18. Including small local races. Yes, I am a political junkie, and if you follow me on Twitter, you can probably figure out my political leanings, but this isn’t about who you’re voting for. I won’t preach on why you should vote for a certain person, this is about getting your voice heard. Sure the electoral college is kinda a pain in the butt, and you may know what way your state will go, but what about your local Congressman? Honestly that person is a better resource if you ever need anything, be it an expedited passport or federal benefits. And they will do it whether you’re the same party as them or not. It’s part of their job. And all the budget issues in every state, and federally, are debated and voted on by representatives, so vote for that person.
I care so much about voting that it looks like I’ll be paying extra postage just to get my ballot in on time. See, I’m still registered at my home of record in Arizona. Growing up in Arizona politics I have a really strong tie to my home state. I live in a new Congressional district, and the state is a borderline battleground state, although not nearly as much as Ohio. BUT because I have a mail forward it’s been a hassle to deal with my local elections office to get my ballot to Washington. I’ve called 3 times and sent a letter. But it’s coming. And the moment I get the ballot, I’m filling it out and mailing it back, probably in a priority envelope. So yeah, I care about voting.
This country needs leaders that will work with one another, from the executive branch on down to city council. People with the best interests of the whole country at heart. So vote. Vote for who you think is best. Just don’t give me an excuse for not voting, with early voting in a lot of states, I have very little sympathy for you not figuring that out or taking the time on your way to work to go to your polling station. (For those displaced by Sandy or still without power, I hope the local elections department figure out some ways for people to vote, I really do, but restoring power, oil, and water is definitely a top priority.) The Internet is a great resource. So use it. And use the voice that you have as a citizen, that so many of our immigrants wait years to use.
Have you voted yet? Or are you going to straight to the polls?
Last week I talked about deployment and how living alone can have its pluses. One of the major downsides though: cooking for one person. The absence of one person who eats a bit more than me is a big deal, I think it took me months to get used to cooking for both of us, and having leftovers galore for lunch for both of us. And then boom, back to cooking for one! Here are my tried and true tricks:
While the hubby was away on his deployment I had a lot of “me” time. Nine months of me time. And facing that prospect earlier this year was scary. I’ve always had roommates, I went from college dorms to a shared apartment to married life. The few months here and there that I was totally on my own, mainly a summer during college, I was miserable. I talked to a counselor to work through all of my feelings, something I am very glad that I did. So with the prospect of 9 months in my much larger space with a few friends was scary. But there was something about living in “our” space that actually made it soothing. And my packed schedule. I made sure that I had stuff to do, maybe too much, with work, volunteering, and now school. Plus my newfound friends. So over those months between girls nights, long drives, and self reflection, I started realizing what I truly need and want out of life. Continue reading “Learning about myself during deployment”