Many months ago I read this post from They Call me Dependent. It reminds the readers of what life was like when we were the new spouse. That the first anything was traumatic and that others’ reactions, particularly those seeming to have a good time, couldn’t be right. But more importantly it reminded me that we’ve all been there and as time goes we learn and change and cope. And around that time I also realized that I was becoming that seasoned spouse.
It only took me about two and a half years but I think I’ve become a seasoned spouse. Or at least I’m feeling more seasoned. It really hit me at a unit event a few weeks later talking to some new spouses. There were so many things that came up that I remember worrying about like crazy just a year ago and now…well not so much. And it was hard for me to articulate that it wasn’t something to spend all their time worrying about.
Do I still worry about our life in the Army, James when he’s gone, and what lies ahead? Yes. Do I still learn new things every day? Yep. But it all feels different. I feel different about all of the things the Army throws my way then I did even a year ago.
Field training arrived again and man was I not excited. But it is what it is, it’s an necessary evil of Army life. So began what I thought would be 29 days apart, but it was more challenging than I expected. But there was fun thrown in!
It is FTX (field training) season meaning that units are gone for days or weeks at a time. Our time came last week and honestly I took it harder than I thought I would. James was only gone for a week but the day before he left and the first day he was gone were hard for me. Who would have thought?
I wasn’t expecting to be upset because well, I got through 8 months of deployment. 8 months of being apart, of dealing with everything on my own, etc. So a week? No problem. Until I realized the morning before he left that I wouldn’t really see him – between work and my night class that day meant when I got home we’d go right to bed. And in the morning he’d wake up at the crack of dawn to go for the week.
I know, I sound a bit dramatic. And that’s not my favorite thing to do, but anytime apart can be hard. I missed the little things, like: watching Parks & Rec after dinner (we’re almost caught up with the current season), laughing together, cooking up something delicious, and just hanging out. I also realized that I needed to deal with the lawn. Aka learning to use our lawn mower.