West Point through the Eyes of a Girlfriend

About five years ago I took the train from NYC’s Grand Central Station to Garrison, NY on MetroNorth for the first time. Little did I know that the trip would become a regular occurrence over the next few years.

My first trip to West Point
My very first trip to West Point. Photo by Jessica Hall

I dated James throughout his time at West Point, from plebe (freshman) year through graduation. While we did not qualify for the 2% that make it from high school through graduation, we were pretty darn close having met in October of his first year. Continue reading “West Point through the Eyes of a Girlfriend”

Learning to live together…again

When James returned from deployment it was pure joy. But we’ve both had to give and get from each other to make sure that living together still goes well. Things have definitely changed in our lives since before deployment so figuring out new schedules and chores can cause some bumps in the road. Here are some things we’ve been doing to ease those bad days and make them all good:

Photo by Jessica Hall
Photo by Jessica Hall

Continue reading “Learning to live together…again”

Oh the FRG

There are good and bad stories about FRGs. I was nervous to join ours at our first duty station, mainly because I just hoped I would like the other ladies and make friends, and fortunately my first experience was fantastic. From our Battalion Commander and Sgt. Major’s wives on down we had a welcome and opening support network. The other spouses are funny, honest, and down to earth. And I count some of them as my best friends. I served as a POC (Point of Contact) for nearly a year for about 12 spouses in our company, as well as helped out at a number of social events, and attended memorials. I got really involved in our FRG and throughout the way I saw and heard a ton of stories, and learned a lot. At one point my friend joked that I was an FRG Leader in Training since I was such good friends with all of our FRG leaders. It really just happened that way but it was funny. Of course the FRG wasn’t perfect, and there were days when I got frustrated, but here’s what I have learned about successful FRGs and what I think they should be, during a deployment or not:

A sign our FRG had made for our homecoming ceremonies after deployment.
A sign our FRG had made for our homecoming ceremonies after deployment. Photo by Jessica Hall

Continue reading “Oh the FRG”

On Same Sex Marriage and Spouses Clubs

Last month I was sad to hear that the Fort Bragg Officers’ Club denied membership to a spouse because she is married to a service member of the same sex. As a member of our Spouses’ Club, it really upset me because to me the club is really a place to build community and meet new people, make friends, support your local base. Being new to an area can be nervewracking, you don’t know where things are, you may not know many people, so a club like this is a great place to start making those connections and learning about your new base. So why deny someone that wants to be a part of that?

The whole situation needs some crisis communication help, but it seems that the reasoning behind the denial is that the spouse doesn’t have a Dependent ID, since even though “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is no longer in effect, gay and straight service members work in the same units alongside one another, DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) still is in effect, basically meaning same-sex married spouses are not able to have benefits, even something as simple as an ID card that gives access to base.

Continue reading “On Same Sex Marriage and Spouses Clubs”

Music Monday: “Home” by Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros

This is one of my favorite songs hands down. It is fun to dance to and super catchy, but the message is simple “Home is wherever I am with you.” I find this so true in my life moving all the time. Anytime we are together it’s home. So while the age-old question “where are you from?” is difficult to answer, I know that when I’m with the hubby that that is home.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4306i99LMXo?list=UUTKz-AxzgeFYEx2wx8oN0pg&hl=en_US]

 

What do you think of this song? Any other personal favorite songs that describe your relationship?

Care Packages 101

I am dedicating this week to the not so fun reality of deployment. And while it had its ups and downs, my absolute favorite part was sending my husband care packages! After sending them for months I got a system down, and my packing skills were impressive. While my hubby’s stop mail date has passed, I’m preparing to send more packages to our friends that are deployed. Here are my tried and true tips:

My last care package. Perfectly fit. Photo by Jessica Hall

Continue reading “Care Packages 101”

How I am making it through a deployment

I have been quiet about the fact that my husband is deployed to Afghanistan online. This is to protect his safety and mine (see OPSEC in the glossary). But as the deployment winds down (countdown is in double digits!!) I want to share what it was like for me.

Me with my “Flat James” as I like to call him, which I got made so James could be at his brother’s wedding this year. This is us on our one year anniversary. (Photo courtesy of Jessica Hall)

Continue reading “How I am making it through a deployment”

“Me turns into we,” a friend shares her story

This is from my friend Jess. She emailed this to me after my post about my month of anniversaries, and more importantly, how over time her relationship with D has shifted from young love to something more, and that where his career goes could definitely be about her. Because well love is a powerful thing. Here’s what she said:

I met D when I was 14, the summer of 2002 as a high school freshman and that October we started dating. I remember when he left for Korea after boot camp in Fall 2004 and all I could think about was when I was going to see him next, I didn’t know. So I ended it 4 months later because it was getting too “tough.” I was 17 then though…and I remember as the years passed I told him I didn’t know if I would be able to date him if he was still in the military just because of how they took him away and how everything just “was” with the army. Looking back on that now, I realize how much of a baby I was at the time and how selfish I was thinking about only me, but then again I wasn’t looking towards marriage yet or anything along those lines. Now, here we are, 7 years later and back together, and back to being 9 months apart and long distance, but he’s still been the only one for me. There’s never even been anyone close so, like you mentioned, love is a big game changer, a big player in the deck of cards. This post literally made me cry because like James, D is asking me about how his next two years will pan out and how WE (not he anymore, we) will need to decide if this is it or to stay put or try for DC (which I would really love) and see OUR options. It’s crazy how me turns to we in the army, and he’s willing to make me happy as well because it’s important to him that I enjoy the crazy military ride.

Thanks for sharing your story Jess! If you want to share your story about being a military significant other feel free to email me: jessica@jessicanicolehall.com

Enlisted v. Officer: What’s the Difference?

People ask all the time “what rank is your husband/boyfriend/wife/etc?” And you tell them and they go “ok.” I once went to a doctor’s office, the woman checking me in looked at my ID (I gave her my military dependent card), she saw my husband’s rank and said, “Oh, 2nd lieutenant, that’s high up right?” It was hard to explain that yes, he was an officer, which some see as higher than enlisted, but in the scheme of officers he was the bottom of the food chain. So let me see if I can explain the difference…(also check out the glossary for a quick look at how the ranks break down)

I asked my husband to help me out on this one and this is his super simple explanation, comparing enlisted and officers to restaurant employees: Continue reading “Enlisted v. Officer: What’s the Difference?”