This is from my friend Jess. She emailed this to me after my post about my month of anniversaries, and more importantly, how over time her relationship with D has shifted from young love to something more, and that where his career goes could definitely be about her. Because well love is a powerful thing. Here’s what she said:
I met D when I was 14, the summer of 2002 as a high school freshman and that October we started dating. I remember when he left for Korea after boot camp in Fall 2004 and all I could think about was when I was going to see him next, I didn’t know. So I ended it 4 months later because it was getting too “tough.” I was 17 then though…and I remember as the years passed I told him I didn’t know if I would be able to date him if he was still in the military just because of how they took him away and how everything just “was” with the army. Looking back on that now, I realize how much of a baby I was at the time and how selfish I was thinking about only me, but then again I wasn’t looking towards marriage yet or anything along those lines. Now, here we are, 7 years later and back together, and back to being 9 months apart and long distance, but he’s still been the only one for me. There’s never even been anyone close so, like you mentioned, love is a big game changer, a big player in the deck of cards. This post literally made me cry because like James, D is asking me about how his next two years will pan out and how WE (not he anymore, we) will need to decide if this is it or to stay put or try for DC (which I would really love) and see OUR options. It’s crazy how me turns to we in the army, and he’s willing to make me happy as well because it’s important to him that I enjoy the crazy military ride.
Thanks for sharing your story Jess! If you want to share your story about being a military significant other feel free to email me: firstname.lastname@example.org
October is a special month for me. Sure it means that fall is here, which I absolutely love, but more importantly it is the month that I met my husband, and a few years later, got engaged.
When we met (5 years ago!) I did not think the relationship would turn into what it did at all, mainly since it would be a long distance relationship, during college, sounds not so fun. But then you fall madly in love and who cares? You just want to be with that person. But, it is much more than that.
Making friends is never easy. I think we’ve all had a new kid at school, or been the new kid in new school, and I think moving to a new place is a bit like that!
I went to school with a lot of the same people from kindergarten through high school. While there were new additions of friends, and others moved away or we grew apart, it was fairly insular for me. College was eye-awakening. Moving across the country I hardly knew anyone in NYC. I was lucky to have some of the most amazing people live on the same floor of my dorm as me, in fact some of those people are still my best friends. As I went through college I made some friends in classes and clubs. There were friends from internships and jobs. These were people that I knew and introduced my husband to, we had his friends from school too, and some were in Arizona with us, but Washington was a bit different.
As most people know the military moves people around fairly often. Most people I know move about every 2 or 3 years, but I have met some that have stayed at the same base for nearly 10 years. (This has to do with how you select preferences for your next job, as well as other factors: such as asking to stay for stability for children, or if a family member has special needs or medical treatments that are more available at certain posts. But that is a post for another day and for someone more knowledgeable on that aspect.)
That being said, we’ve moved twice, one was to a temporary location, I will explain that in a bit. But it’s a part of military life that I can say I love and hate all at the same time.
My family has served in the U.S. Military for three generations, starting with my grandfather, followed by uncles and cousins. When I met my now-husband five years ago I was not interested in these West Point boys that were going to be at the party in my friend’s NYU dorm room. In fact I only planned on staying for five minutes, be polite and say hi to these guys we had briefly met the year before, but then there was James, who was a freshman, therefore new to the group. I will admit that his blue eyes and smile drew me in immediately and before I knew it five minutes turned into hours of talking, laughing, and flirting. The next day we had our first date and almost four years later we were married.